Bla day

I feel like I have neglected my blog here. In reality its only been a few weeks but I tend to stop all of my normal talking (blogging) and chatting with family no the phone and such when I get down. After loosing 11" in October and being so proud of myself I followed it by loosing only 1" and gaining a few pounds in November. To say I'm bummed about this is an understatement. I know I shouldnt look at the scales and the number shouldnt count but it does to me. No one will ever talk me out of this unless I looked like a body competitor and was the same weight as I am now. Then I'll listen. Not until then. So, naturally I am down on myself and yes, talking bad about myself over and over in my head. I feel fat, look fat and dammit I still can't squeeze into a size smaller pant. If another person says "You just had a baby!" I may deck them. She is almost nine months old and there is no reason other than I'm just plum fat that I can't fit into smaller jeans (and those would still be bigger than I was a year ago.)

Okay, so maybe today is just a bad day and I'm down on myself in general but its still the truth. I promise to have pictures of my babies here soon. Lillian has learned how to stand up. This makes me so happy because there is nothing I want more for her than to walk! (Okay lie, I want her to be as healthy as can be and to live a wonderful life and believe and trust in God, but besides that, I want her to walk!) Ya, ya, I know she's only 9 months old but if you know me, you know that I'm not a huge fan of the babies. Don't get me wrong, I love her and all that she is doing right now and I embrace it knowing I can't have this day ever again. But when babies become toddlers and they can walk and tell you more of what's going on and what they want, I LOVE that.

Will and his imagination is a hoot. I love it. He is so much fun to play with. He makes barns and fences out of his Lego's every day. He will come up to me and ask for his pliers, all I have to do is reach in my pocket and pull out a hand full of air and hand it to him. He then proceeds to go fix something with his imaginary pliers. The other night the alligator outside was going to get him. We even went to the window to see this HUGE alligator that was going to get us. So tucked into bed he was safe from this huge 2 year old little boy eating alligator. He is learning so much at his new daycare. Dennis and I both love it when he will say something out of the blue and we know neither one of us taught him that. Humpty Dumpty is one but a few months ago he saw a flag and started saying "I pledge allegiance..." WHAT? I don't even remember the whole thing from school. Of course now with all the stupid laws they dont say it in school but WHAT? Moving both kids to Teddy Bear was the best thing EVER. They both love it there and I sure hope they love them.

Sorry for the negativity earlier. It's just a bla day and sometimes it just feels good to put it out there. I'm pissed at myself. There you have it. I hope this didn't make you in a bad mood because I know its contagious! Until next time, smile and have a great day!